Dry D*ck's in Gilead: Navigating Midlife Crises with Kate Middleton's Photoshop Skills and Amanda Bynes' Fashion Sense.

I'm gonna say that I got exclusive footage. I got exclusive footage from this year's Handmaid's Tale. Oh We want families to grow. We want to help loving moms and dads bring precious life into this world. Wesley and I believe there is no greater blessing in life than our children. And we want to give you and your children the opportunities to thrive. And we want families to grow. We want to help loving moms and dads bring precious life And then I'm like, okay, and then... Precious Of men and women who got knocked down. We are here because they stood back up. And you are why I... The music, it's scary. Every fiber of my being. that despite the current state of our union, our best days are still ahead. May God bless you and may God continue to Under his eye. Oh, I want to show this last May the Lord open. I want to pause it, because if you look at this bitch, that was, um, it's like, oh, that was supposed to be an unhinged response. The lady at the end is like, She's like, what the fuck? Literally everyone, even Republicans, I know, even Fox News was like, well. Oh, sorry. Hello. She's like crying. Precious life. It's really unhinged. Precious life. We have some psycho fucking paths in this country and we are literally living in Gilead That's what they imagine like she was wearing a green dress just like a and she's in a like multi-million dollar kitchen That's the other funny part. She's like This kitchen just like yours. And it's like, girl, first of all, why are you around? Well, you're a senator. Why are you in a kitchen? You have a custom built in fridge with like the same panels as your cabinets. That's costing tens of Oh, and she says something there without him play that was like, If we allow the generation to continue to go Like, bitch, it's gone. Your party's got it gone. She got gone. Yeah. Hi. Remember Insurrection Barbie? What's really interesting to me is that she wanted to play this little housewife, like a fragile little we've Gotta do this. I've She actually rant like she's a smart bitch. I think she wants an Oscar. Like I think she's trying to get nominated. And she was trying to get an Oscar. It was Oscar season. It was Oscar worthy. She thought she could sneak in right before Sunday and get that We have Marjorie Taylor Greene in Trump garb. It's like, hi, this What the fuck is going on? She looks so bad. I mean, she always looks bad, but that was particularly bad. She's terrible. These people are fucking nuts. It's nothing new, but I just had to share that clip with you. I was going to be like, We have sponsored by and it's like this is scary with the music on it. Yeah, like with the sounds like Serena If you've never seen handmaid's tale watch it, you'll freak out I think that's where she like it seems like they watched that and wanted to sound with that green dress and that it's scary It's Yeah, it's very handmaid ask now. Oh Now I kind of just panicked for a second for what I mean, I think we should have enough tape Just keep watching the red light. Okay, I Our number is 614-721-5336 or go to our website, www.notwellpodcast.com. Wow, that was quick. Thank you. The edible has not hit yet, but it It's hitting because I can tell I'm starting to get a little... Once Yeah, it's like guppy fish. A little guppy. Well, you're my little guppy. How was your week? We just got back from Dove right in. Delayed a day. I don't even know how my week's I don't know. Last week. Not this week. Right. I'm like, so it feels like the same week, kind of. It just feels It just feels like I just started working again. And then it's back to reality and it's back to, oh, I guess I got to do this dumb paperwork for you now. OK, great. Thanks. Did you see my email? A lot. We've had a lot. We've had a lot. We've had a lot of breakthroughs. We've had a lot of we've had a lot of. Situations and we can decide where we want to go first I wrote down dicks dick does not have the same sustainability as it used to and needs aqua for a lot when edging oh Yeah, I know so I never been like a very dry person. Well. I never really had to use lube like oh, I've never yeah, right I never had to there's people who just now all the time, but now now that we're in our 40s coming years It's Oh, you wanted twice in a row? Two days in a row? Oh, it's gonna flake. It's terrible. Oh, it starts to hurt. Flake. It's Honestly, you just gotta get some alcohol for it and just keep it on there, especially right after your excursion. I think I feel like I talked about this last week, but I don't know. Your edge excursion. My edge excursion. You just fell the fuck apart. No, because I have like all kinds of random shit. Breaking news. Breaking news here at wherever we're at. They're really breaking Oh my God, this is hilarious. Robert F. Kennedy Jr.' 's runny mate list. The two top people are Aaron Rodgers and former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura. This is just, is this real? What's happening? I, I, okay. Here's what I have how? so something happened this week and You know the world one of the top liberal states in the country other than California, New York The governor of New York deployed National Guard and like an extra thousand cops in the New York City subway Now it's just weird that they're and they're searching every bag if you want to ride the subway you have to get searched to go and ride the subway and Okay, it's like, wow, interesting. What are they getting us prepared for? Because Mayor Adams, and this is actually a fact, crime is down this year. In everywhere, all over New York City, Why are they getting us used to seeing National Guardsmen with rifles, automatic rifles, just searching my bag as I try to ride the subway? I can't go anywhere in public without being searched? This gives me a little fear because for Michael's birthday in So I'm getting blown up. It's fucked up. Of course, of course. And it's liberals, that's the thing where it's like, I don't really think, I think the two parties are two sides of the same coin. And you're like, okay, so New York City, liberals would never do this, take away our personal freedom, search our bags as we're riding. No, no, no, they do. But where's the outcry over that? If Trump did that, what would we do if Trump had been like, we're gonna deploy, we're deploying the We would be like, what? But there was no like reason, like no background reason, There have been crimes in the subway, like people being pushed on the track. I know. Like that has happened always. Like that's always been there. I hate the subway. I know. I've never ridden in the New York City. All the times I've been there, which is not a lot. Every single time. Twice. I think that's it. I don't really remember. But honestly, I We have and I don't like it because there's usually like old poor people like I'm like, why I remember in the Paris Metro like guys just peeing onto the tracks It's just like I would like turn to my right and be like, oh, he's just peeing He's just peeing in front of these like this. Yeah, just so bizarre. I'm actually like, I know it's like preparing like Michael Are you sure this one? No, that's what you want to do first birthday. Yeah, it's me and him. We're going to New York I'm like, okay. Well We're never been. So it's always like, I guess. Oh, Maybe it's his birthday, babe. Oh, yeah. I'm almost 40. Like, I'm about to just let you know. Things are I'm like, I'm we're we're getting old, like we're going to die soon, so it's like it's not desperate. No, not desperate. This is, well, yeah, sure. Desperate. This is our last, this is the last Like I'm so hot right now. I got it right now. But in 10 years from now, I don't know. The 25 year olds just out of college are not talking to us once we're 50. I'm sorry. They're barely talking to us at 40. That's what I'm worried about is like, if they're not 30 yet, are they just going to be like, who are Yeah, I mean we all were in that phase when we were in our 20s And that's me now. And I'd be like, oh, that guy has his shirt off and he's like 45, 50. And he really was only like probably 38 or 39. He was probably 38 and hot. And But it was always like, God, these old drug addicts. That's a separate thing. Yeah, they probably were Everybody half people to bars on our own drugs half half There wasn't. Oh, that's not a decent. Well, It wasn't even Taco Bell, though. I didn't eat, honey. I don't eat. Oh, I mean, only they eat. Well, actually, I do eat because I came home and I ate half a fucking thing at 430 a.m. I ate half a tub of ice time. Hi. Daily Savings I'm way off, like, it's bad. Wait, so you thought it was 3.30 a.m. and you're eating a tub of ice cream, Which is really 2.30, but in and out, like, yeah. I'm like, okay, fine. They couldn't wait till 2, and then it turned 3. So then they were like, let's go to the Afti, so it's 1.45, and we're driving It's 2.45. It's like, wait a second. Oh, and I was like, oh fuck. Um, we went into the AFD. Now this is an AFD that I've been to before, uh, in my previous life, like 10 years ago where I played, uh, strip Mario cart. What? You ever heard of the story? I've told Do you need a moment? No. Okay. What is strip Mario Kart? So basically what happens at these afties is they're like a bunch of gay mirrors And so what they do is they play Mario Kart and if you lose your strip And I lost. Now, I'm trying to imagine if I want gamers to strip. It No, I'm kidding. I'm a gamer. These are upper echelon bears. And I love my body. I actually like my body so much now. Right? Sorry. Even? It's going down. I think it's naturally shrinking. It's starting to go down. Yeah, it's starting to go down. Weird. It's not as bad. It looks I'm starting to really get skinny. I don't find it. It's kind of weird. This is crazy. And So were you feeling hotter at this afties than you were 10 years ago in Yeah, ages. You can look however you want at So I passed out on the couch while I was playing afties. I was blackout drunk. This is after exile. Oh. And I woke up the next morning naked on the couch. Nobody around. I was like, where did you check your hole? They were. That's how you get. Honestly, well, my hole was fine. It was fine. And if it wasn't, then they were small and it was It's like, oh, and who knows? I might have participated. I just don't remember. There was no such blanket over me like they put a blanket on me like they they're not you were fully naked Fully cuz I Oh, cuz they're good at it I remember and you had to do a shot or something every time you lost It was fun, that's what we need to get a hot guy who's not good at games and We don't need to have afties. We need to have before he's uh-huh And we need to not stay up so late because it ruins my goddamn life. Like what did we do the entire week in Utah? Exactly, right? That's all I say. We would go out at 4 p.m. Get absolutely hammered and by 7 o'clock we're in a full blackout. First of all, we think it's 11. You come out of the And then 730 and everybody's just like, Okay, well, let's get an Uber home because we're about to pass out because half of us are throwing up and a Oh, yeah, that one night to get to it too. We We had hands on your knees. But like the best part about that strategy is that all of a sudden you're in bed and it's 1115 and you still feel like you stayed up late and you go to sleep and then you go to sleep before midnight and then you're up in the morning and Because you start slowly unhanging over. It's like 10 p.m. You're like you're slowly coming back to life. You're Honestly, we gotta get rid of honestly, we need to start our thing. Let's have before ease. Okay, we should do like before ease. We should we should make a whole fucking thing out of it. Even like we're gonna have a business deal right a wall to like, hey, hey, we're gonna give you a before he's from it's like during happy hour. Yeah, four to nine drinks The Nike DJs would get mad if we became successful. Well, of course. We'd get So this Aptis, you're here 10 years later. You're trying to show your best Yeah, we all look OK. I was like, you have a beer can, Dick. I remember saying that. Because I know one of the guys there has a huge Oh, really? Yeah. That's weird. I wonder why he's a bottom. I I guess anyone can be anything but I walk in and I go So well, first of all, I said who wants to play Mario Kart like as a joke and I was like, oh god Here's this but they're all older than me a little bit. They're like 42, maybe 41 40 Some were younger. Oh, there's some in there beer in there maybe I Guess I'm boring you Then I proceeded to And then somebody was like, we'll pull it out if you want it. And I was like, oh, I would have. I was drunk, though. You remember my story of Well, that's the thing. If I would have, I guarantee you I could have had so much. Right. There He was like a nerd, but he was cute. And I was like, I It was fun. I love when you can just touch people's dicks. I do too, and that's why I wanna get the beforeies before the afties. With consent. Right, with consent, but the afties thing is too late, I can't do it, and then I'm too drunk, and then I get a hamburger shot, and that's the end of my night. What's that? No. It tastes like a hamburger. Why? Is there beef grease in it? It's weird, the only three people that did it were me, the That I were with. That I were with, am I getting date raped? Are you a plural pronoun? this day This and them's I were drunk. I was drunk So yeah, so I went to an aftee but then I suffered cuz I again then I came home and ate a carton of ice cream So when did you wake up the next So I woke up well, oh and then the the fucking craziest part about it is then at 6 o'clock Okay, so I got about like 430 So you pep on everything's good All this and I don't remember this really them. Maybe I was the burger shot. I blacked out. I was in the shower taking a shower at I'm telling you it He's about to run a 5k. No, he was waking up at six to go run a 5k. And That would be a moment for me where I'm like, we have made different life choices. We I gotta go run. And you're blacked out in the shower, just like showering. Like I was like going to work and I go, he goes, why are you in the shower? And I was like, I don't really know. Then I went to sleep until Yeah, I was like, that's not even that long. That's four hours. Yeah, and then we got to go see the Titanic exhibit, which was fine because I took an edible and then I was like, I hadn't had anything to eat. Yeah, you went you woke up on four hours of sleep and went to the Titanic They finished their run and then they came back and we had an hour like I mean it wasn't it was that we are it was later in the afternoon, but still it was like They came back and I was like, okay, I'm like really fucking. Oh, did you spit on me? No So yeah, I mean this shit is crazy. I love you at 39 and a half. Listen, this is what is important the 29 and a half Bobby was the same way I I This is you're like, this is your last. It's well, not Now for our older listeners, what I meant to say was- No offense, but literally, you're When I say relevant, I mean like young- When I say relevant- You want to remember this. You're young, you're youthful, you don't have aches and pains and scars. You can still It might not be able to dip as low, but it's not at about a 65-year-old age. On your knees like you want to do it doggy style like neither one of us can bend in that way, you know Yeah, I can lay really we've had both of our knees replaced. They don't bend at a 90 degree angle I can't get on my hands and knees like that's coming. That's coming. And by the way in like 30 years Flat 30. Oh, he's 70. Oh, you might it could be before then. Oh, I'm dying soon Yeah, I was like 70s You'll get your knees done before that. Oh, I'm having an existential crisis like this is usually people. I mean 60 is when it's like hands on your knees. Anyway, so yeah, so I'm living my youth. I also wanted to discuss something really quick before we you don't have arthritis though. No. Yeah. So arthritis. The reason. So. OK. So Friday night late we get a wild hair. This is Friday We've got a wild hair and we went to a walk Yeah that's nobody. Nobody's there. Mr. Before is going So the weekend started off really great. Yeah, that's already trouble. Okay, nobody So then we proceeded to go to Caverns where they were doing karaoke Saw some people there. I knew it was like whenever bubble always like that Let me tell you where we went next and now the locals people who don't know what's going on here I'm just gonna explain it in a way that maybe it'll help you understand. We And I think you had this conversation a couple weeks ago, and I don't and I didn't I didn't really know you don't remember I remember but I don't I Know first of all the bartenders were hot as fuck. Well, but but when we're walking describe the rest like First of all, the light choices, the colors, like that weird blue. It's like you're going into a fucking bowling alley. But then it's blacked out windows so you can't see anything, so there's no light. Let's just say I know why there was a shooting there a couple weeks ago. No, and last summer there were like two or three. When I was going in, there was a group of three people, two girls and a guy. Straight? Yep. And they're trying to get in and the lady's like, mm-mm, this isn't your ID, mm-mm, this don't match, mm-mm, and kicked her out. Guns are coming back. They're literally, it's like locals in that area, young, are going into the bar and trying to get drunk at the gay bars. And I'm like, why are So anyway, I was like. We don't have any spaces. I go, this is fucking crazy. I'm freaking out. There's so many shootings there now. That is not the I'm not if I had to go to like Kevin's right there, too. I'm going to Kevin's I'm So whoever owns it if they listen to this show Yeah, I really need you to figure it out. Like maybe we need that like you have a fucking Torso there too. I know it's like attaches like you could be doing amazing things. I First of all, open a door between the two places. First of all, I have to worry about stealing or something. We need to shift to the back. I think we need to make an entrance in the back. Uh-huh. The front? Or Bulletproof windows, so you could... No, no. Oh, they went through. Bullets go in. I was like, oh, honey, no, no, we're on South High. These are not bulletproof. But I just want to be able to see out maybe but I think they're afraid of people seen in and seen gays But yet it's a gay rainbow flag on the outsets. I'm just so yeah, it's like we're still attracting them anyway So why don't we just let us see we're also attracting the preteens? From the neighborhood. We're attracting is bad the things that I'm telling you last time I was in there. I was like well So I will never go back Yeah, I don't think I will never go back. I I care who's memorials there. I don't care It's just a place. So you're like I'm done. I'm never it's like It was bad. So you went from a wall to there a wall and cabins and This is why it's just a problem. I had a problem this week and I was just a fuck-up It's cuz I left I was supposed to be there You were working. Right. That's my my fault. Nine days in a row to like, I know to moderate, bitch. I Yeah, you moderate and you block. I'm This cock whore. I would not. But you actually have options there. Now we do it together. We do now this weekend. Wow. What I'm off. So something whorish. So we've got St. Patrick's Day. I can't do all the days. So we can be like one. We Well, I think Saturday. So, you know, I say no Friday. I wanna do Sunday Funday on St. Patrick's. Okay, let's do Sunday. I wanna do Sunday Funday too. Like There's bar crawls at all the gay bars starting at Slammers, but I don't know. Let's go. Well, maybe we'll We could get pizza. Ew. Oh, you don't even eat. Yeah, I'm full. Well, I can get pizza. You can get pizza and eat for both of us. Life is so fun now. Why is making food is supposed to be for nurturing Thank Now. What do you have over there? You little whore? I have so many things I had I like and there the list keeps going for me, too So okay, but I need you to interject and get well, I don't remember if this is separate from what your partner did this weekend, but I've typed down, runners, the worst. They'll destroy their body and claim it's healthy. Like, for me, I just find, we've been over this, the marathon sticker on the car, like, I can't, I can't do it. I'm sorry. It's a business. It's weird. And the people that I know that run and talk about it, case closed. Like, I don't need to, it's just, Honestly, there's a type of person. There's a vibe. There's a vibe for And it's like, great, I guess. I'm glad you conquered your goal or whatever the fuck you want to call it. But it's the it's just annoying. And then they're like, it was so cold. I'm like, Oh God, I got the runners high. I just, I just loved coming down third, that hill going down. That's great for you, but I don't want to hear it. Like it's like a waste of time to me. I'm like, why are you running anywhere? We're Running up that hill. It's weird, yeah. You can't You're gonna get there sweaty. What did you carry? You can't carry a lot while you run. So it's kind of just like a show-off narcissistic exercise to me. Interesting, that's a very interesting take. I never looked at it that way, but it kind of is like, look at me, I just ran a marathon. And then you You are, it's narcissistic. Now, speaking of stickers on cars, I did see you earlier today with some stickers on your car. Now, Okay, well, during our rough patch, I, No, it started at the end of March last year. Was the rough patch? Well, yeah, when I had a boyfriend. Well, that was the. Oh, OK. The other rough patch was in 2021. OK, We skipped a year, that's fine. There's not a rough patch every year. Hi, by the way, everything's a rough patch like life's a rough patch So get used to it. Yeah, I saw the back of your shirt lift up. I saw a rough. Oh god, it hurts so bad You So that was a high moment for you. I think I broke my tailbone. I think I broke my tailbone. It's Bob McGillicuddy. By the way, when we were in Utah, you fucking played the Bob McGillicuddy I didn't realize that that was a full skit you had done. There were so many things that you started playing that give me insight into like how you were before. And I'm just like blown away. Like, oh, my God. Like, I'm telling you, you are a full freak. That's why I'm just dying. Because I was like, I didn't realize. I've always wanted to be an entertainer. I hate people who say that word, by the way. Like, I'm just an entertainer. I know. It's like, what does that mean? Are you going to be jump rope? Are you doing magic tricks at Like, what is that? But it's true. I'm very, I'm all about the audio and video. And Joe McGillicuddy, that video is so funny. Should I play it for everyone? It's a sound clip. And it's like you calling into a radio station, right? Well, There's Joe McGillicuddy. There's Joe McGillicuddy. And he has, shit, he has Tourette's. And he calls Gil Mercani. for a tractor, okay? I called a tractor company and was like, I need to know what kind of tractors you have. And let me tell you, in the South, that's So I was not being like, they didn't take it as a prank. They were like, wow, this guy really has- Wait, I used to call strip clubs and be like, hello, my name is Lil Baby, AKA Lil Chocolate Chia. Oh, I swear to God, I used to literally call and go, I used to go, my stripper name is chocolate. And I want to come in for a, what do I say? I'd say, I don't know. I would basically try to interview to be a stripper as a man, a boy in a closet with Now, the other girl is Sydney Reedy. She doesn't have a, you have to kind of plug the nose a little bit. He And she, her vagina was fucked up. And so I called a gynecologist was Oh my God, that's the other way. I have been sexually active, actually. Like, it sounds like a child's talking, but here we are. That's my When I saw that, or heard that, I just was like, a light bulb went off. I was like, wait. Yeah, it's all connecting. This is Once you plug Kourtney into my life, you see a lot of where I Well, and it was, and I also found out from her, which we haven't discussed, but So. So that's how Bobby's dick works. It's the It wasn't my dick. She kept trying to shove my head down to her vagina and I didn't want to eat her out. Sorry, and I couldn't come But yeah, like no. No, I was blackout drunk. Oh, and It's a pussy. And I kind of felt fine, Oh, I'm sure it was. Think about it. Here's a little perfect made a whole little perfect pocket for your brain. It's like. I can't even, there's no shit in there, you don't have to clean out. No, it's ready to Holly Hot Pocket. Anyway. So back during the rough patch of 2023, yes, we have to name them, I got a sticker that says, I love my amazing husband. And the reason I got it is because I used to hate as a kid, the bumper sticker that said, I love my wife or I heart my wife. because like these dumb soccer moms in minivans would get make their husbands put that on their truck they're these suburban moms who know that their husband is fucking the secretary because all these suburban moms are not cute like let's be honest the soccer moms are not cute and all the men seem to get hotter yeah and the men the dads in the suburbs are so hot like i can't i think they're fucking each other they've gotta be wives are all upset like oh And the guys are fucking down the street. They were hot dads. Like I would cut the grass shirts off shirts off I would literally look at her I would one day I was in my Bedroom off and looking out the window watching. Mr. Oh and the days that when they can would come off shirtless I was like, mm-hmm They're probably 38 too and I thought they were old right and we they were they were I mean look at them We're like a 16 year old It's so weird. Yeah But they were old but if you think about it, they were old but to us that was only 25 years ago Like it's not that long when you really think about it We're I think you're having a great I'm living my best life if Okay, whatever I want to do. I'm gonna do and I don't care about anybody's feelings or anybody's hearts. Good lord Well, I do obviously cuz I'm a six which we're not talking about enneagrams this week I know I said to research it, Yeah, I fully lied Well, then my other bumper sticker says Israel is a terrorist state so If you see the car with that bumper sticker, that's me. And that's Triana's favorite sticker as well. Oh, I should send one to her. You actually should. I love her. I'm obsessed. So here's the thing. I think she's really found her niche. Yeah. And it's ideal. She's there. It's like 100%. She's in the moment. She's in the moment. Should we go to Montreal? She's like with celebrities all the time. Should we go to Montreal? Oh, yeah. I like that. I know. This Oh, yeah There's like two like two of them. There's like three of them and I didn't go to any clothes with full dick That's the thing. I I spent all four Oh, yeah, why not? We're just gonna we go there and then at 11 p.m. We go to the bathhouse. What's the best? What's the best? We need from the best time to get like, um Weather-wise is probably beautiful. I know. Yeah, I want to go like I want to go soon, but like I want to go Yeah during an activity? No, but it's got to be like, what am We're going to know, we're going to go in like, you know how we went into We did it. I don't need, like, I want to go for not a long time, but just like enough to be like, Boom, boom. Yes. And then but not like, yeah, the New Orleans was like regimented. It was like we're going to do this was very we didn't stay out late except one night. I don't stay out late anymore. I know. Well, until last weekend when I was fully No, but I'm living now. That's the thing. It's like I'm trying to get my last bit of youth out before I turn 40. And actually, I think I'm way hotter my Wait, what month is it? Three plus six is nine. I have five months. Wow, wow, wow. So we're like really. Anyway, anywho. So yeah, 40, get your sex out now. Okay, so other topics. I've got some things, got some things. Don't know where my phone is. Have to show you a video and then I want to I have a question for you, and I need you to be able to answer Okay, so I need to focus what you're saying like basically pay attention like I send me the video so I can play it over the Yes, I'll send it to your Instagram. Which one not well, okay? And then we're gonna play some questions I wanted to make a post to let you guys know that I'm gonna start wearing wigs now. I absolutely love this wig. And I just wanted to let you guys know that my hair was growing out so awkwardly that I absolutely hated it. So I'm totally gonna be wearing wigs now. I have another one that's blonde and blue. It's super cute and I'm gonna get more. I hope you guys like it. Let me know what you think. Thanks. Hey, I just look at the face of Amanda Bynes. My question is, what happened to Amanda Bynes? I want a Netflix documentary like Tiger King. I want to know what the fuck, because I watched her as a kid. We all did. We do the Amanda show. Yeah. Like, yeah, look into this. We got to get the videos of like, what? What are they drugging her with? Or why? Also, did she have a But it came out of nowhere. But it seemed to, but did we really know It was all an act. Maybe it was all an act. And now she's like, I'm just gonna do my little- I like wigs. Is she on lithium? I think she's legally in trouble as well, so I think- I think she's on lithium. But she's like Well that doesn't mean you're in trouble, it means you can't handle your own life so somebody else You're in trouble. If you're an adult and that's how it is- Life's in trouble, and now you're pilonidal herding, because you're No, I just feel like I Wanted to change a little I like it. I think side a massage. So true So what happened? Watching that though, it's it's the things that I'm noticing are first of all, yeah, there's nothing there's nothing when I Your I just thank you. Bye. It's like she's being drugged It's like these people are conservative. I mean, no offense, but I think they're fully fucked. I think they're supposed to be on a maybe or they're getting drugged into them because like literally drugged. Yeah, look at Britney Spears now. I mean the bitch is like crazy It's uh, it's not making sense what she's I just like girl. We wanted you to make music. That's why we freed you Okay, I keep trying to think like maybe I just don't know enough of the story and maybe poor Britney blah blah blah But I really do feel like she's a little off. She is just crazy. I think I the whole family's crazy. And I think that's the problem is that when you have a crazy person trying to conservatorship a crazy person, it doesn't work. And so it just was a recipe for And they used her as a cash cow and she was an idiot and did it. Like if I were her, I'm like, nope, I'm not doing shit, you motherfucker. Well, I was gonna say, she also still had She had a microphone in her hand at all times. She could easily went up and gone, And then, okay. And then what, they're not gonna kill her because everyone's paying They need her. Yeah, they need the money. Nobody's killing you, Brittany, because here's the You're it. So anyway. Why did we not? So that's what, I'm just wondering that about Amanda Bynes. Yeah, that was kind of freaky. That's a weird thing. Okay, now I'm gonna show you a picture. Do you know what a fox stole is? I think it's what it's called. Oh God. This is just what I typed and I think you're gonna like this. I just thought, what did the fox say? So a fox stole is like this. It's an old fashioned thing. I don't even know if this is real on Etsy. Like, I doubt it. Like I'm like what is happening where we make I said how humiliating we make the fuck the Fox bite itself To make a slick. What is this? Why are we? Entire length of the body including the paws and then it's Oh, no These are these were like common things that women wore A fox stole. Right, it used to be a thing back when fucking nobody was able to even sew clothes really or whatever, but like, now it's a fashion thing. I'm like, no, you're wearing a fox over your fucking neck. You're wearing a dead animal. Like, why are we doing that? Why isn't PETA involved? Honestly, It's creepy. It's all gay, man. It's all people in New York, honestly. It's creepy shit. It's all New Mink fur stole, vintage, full size. Look at that thing. Why are we wearing, with the tail and the legs, Why were foxholes popular? They were symbols of social status, more or less precious furs. Yeah, I think I need to find a Wikipedia page about this to read into it, but it's horrifying to me. Do you remember this? Oh, I don't know which one it is, but. Yes. Is this Is this a kids buffers I guess but we're Toot this is like a weird church version that guy's molesting them. Yep, all the way. Oh Oh, my God, this guy is he's like your gay nightmare. Oh, my God. Who is that? So there's like that race. I got to save this. Oh, my God. I feel like I've seen him at a wall. And we're concerned about the drag queens grooming. We Yeah, John Cena comes out completely naked. No one's like what children are watching this is indoctrination Not no, I think he has an OnlyFans now or something no offense, Yeah, it's weird It's like it kind of like and you're like your body doesn't look right like it just looks bad Yeah, and I really I'm sorry for you in about 20 years cuz you're gonna look like oh he already might um Yeah, and those sandals like what are we doing with those honey? So honey, I sent you another thing on your Instagram that we need to go over. This topic is big. Everyone wants to know what's up with our favorite queen killer, Camilla. Camilla the queen killer. Where is this bitch and why is she releasing edited photos? Swipe and you can start to see where the The Princess of Wales and her three kids was first released on Mother's Day here in the UK. She releases it. The Post here on X. includes Kate's first message to the public since January. Thank you for your kind wishes and continued support. Like, where are you, bitch? But that message has been overshadowed when late last night multiple photo agencies all withdrew the photo over concerns of potential manipulation. The AP saying in a statement they retracted the image because at closer inspection Now I'll go to the next video. So then Kate Tells everyone, hey guys, sorry. I like to edit my photos because she is a known photographer. Like so she likes to take photos. What is the C? It's Catherine. I know it's weird. It's like say. Yeah, because like once they point out like what photo it seems like a sweet photo, right? But when you zoom in and look at a couple details, things start to look a little weird. people notice the skirt which it could be fitting big but it also just looks really weird even though the photo is all in the same plane her hand is blurry on this side but it's not blurry on the other side here's the photo again for reference right even more surprising is this line that kind of cuts on her neck right Where's the hair seems like her head has been taken from another. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna say. Yep onto this photo Eerie looking at the details and then see it actually doesn't look at her body does look a Yeah Yeah, now the problem is where is she because we haven't seen her since like January 15th But there are like a couple photos because the british press defers to the monarchy and they won't post Private photos like they don't do it. It's americans do right? So we do have some actual photos and videos taken from afar zoomed in Of her like riding in the car with william and all this So it's like what the fuck happened to her but why is she and why is she not making a statement? And then why is she actually admitting that she edited the photo? Like, why would you say that? And how did you make that many edits? You moved your head and your other son's head on to a new photo. Like, why? That's not editing to make it look a little cuter or changing the light. What if she's dead and they Or what if she's... And she has a body double. Well, I've heard the divorce. I've heard there's going to be a big scandal divorce. Oh, is there? On the horizon. Do Camilla started this back I think I think this is salt burn and like Camilla came out of nowhere and was like oh Everyone hated me cuz I broke up Diana and oh my god Now here I am just gonna pluck away all these and now Charles is dying of cancer by the way And she's gonna be the queen so and then once you're Queen. I don't think so no it's God I was like oh my god, but then she'll be like Queen, but she'll be like Queen Queen mother like I don't even know what she'll be actually Queen of Hearts Uh, she's not- I- I don't know. I don't know, she's- someone's scheming something. Some- some- Someone's scheming Uh-huh. They're not even like real. No, I know. That's like a fake. All of this is a distraction. It doesn't matter. First of all, they're all inbred. Like, first of all, look at them. Right. They get paid for photos. First of all, the press pays them separate. They do pay. Yeah. That's the only reason why they're still right. It's a it's a whole culture system of we must the British politicians, like the right wingers, like the Trumps over there, like we must support the monarchy. And it's like, why? That's because you're getting funneled money, right? Why do we have to support America? Like, what is their purpose? They don't serve any purpose other than they get billions of dollars in tax. But for no reason, like to do No, they don't make any. I mean, I mean, I guess maybe at one point, sure, you But they should pay their way. They have enough. At this point, we shouldn't pay for your weddings, your funerals. They should not be paying anything to them. They have so much fucking land. When people are so invested too, it's like psychotic. I know, like they sell plates with their pictures on it. And they have them in their houses. It's fucking weird. We make fun of Trump people who have Trump things in their house. Oh, it's the same thing. But all these people in Great Britain, like half the population supports the monarchy and has pictures of the queen on like a spoon on the wall. Like that's fucked up. MAGA and monarchies. Same. Well, and he's gonna be so well, yeah Not our fault So I did read it a little bit about that and I almost wrote it down But I was like, I don't know if I Yeah, I'm coming I didn't know all that information I just I just read that people were like saying stuff and I was like, whatever fuck it like what's wrong with I need to watch this Maybe it's pretty that's what got me fired up because I was like she's they're putting out pictures that are edited and I clearly edited And I'm not gonna lie, to me, she's the hottest one that's ever She's got that natural beauty. She's just pretty. Yeah. She's very pretty. I mean, and she's... Meghan Markle's pretty, but... And we're not saying Finn is pretty, but she is thin. Like, she keeps her figure... Honey, Finn is hot. Can you imagine keeping your figure when you have the ability to eat anything? You have a chef all the time. You have to go to events where you drink and eat. You know what's weird though? They have dinners, they have those things. I would be large. When chefs cook like vegetables, I like them. You're preaching to the choir. No, it's not really that much. Just the way they know how to cook things. No, if a vegetable is Well, that's what you do. You're a vegetarian. Wow, okay. And then I had another thing. Last night, finally. I got to see Dune 2. And I'm telling you right now, you have got to see it. Is it in the theaters? Yes. And that's the part I hated, but I finally did it. I just did it. I You want to see it on a big screen. I am telling you, this movie is like the first time I saw like Star Wars, like Empire Strikes, first time I saw any good sci-fi movie. and there's not that many. This one is one of the best. The scenes in it, you are just riveted the whole two hours and 46 minutes. It's so long. Why are they making these so long? But you don't feel it. Matt didn't even get up to pee. You don't feel it. You're just like, oh my God. Oh, okay, now this, now this. There's battle scenes, They set it up perfectly. It was a little layup. I I mean, so you're getting kind of to the idea of like. You're like, oh, he's trapped in the desert. And now Zendaya comes out and wants to fuck. So there's these prophecies about him being the messiah for these people on Arrakis. The process of him becoming a messiah or like that he could be the messiah and you see all these people pulling strings and the power struggles and everything else and lying and telling stories to other people and then passing that along and exaggerating and everything. You really feel it. You really feel like, oh wow, this is how power works. This is how you Like you you can tell stories you create a story you create. Well, that's the thing It's like I think about all the like major stories in the world is always like the chosen one Why are you cuz we're why do you want to be the chosen one? Why does Harry Potter have to be the right the chosen one? Everyone we see we're like We want to be the center of everything. We want to be that person So do we do you think that's why we made Jesus? Oh Like, I really don't think Jesus came to save people from, like, China, or whatever it was at the time. He didn't even know anything about those people. Like, Jesus is the man. But, like, his followers created a story about him, making him the Messiah. They backfilled in all these things, and they were like, yeah, and he did this, which was prophesied 2,000 years ago, and he did it. So that means he fulfilled the prophecy. And, oh, that's how it's written. It's and you see this in the movie dune to where you're just like fuck this shit It's all it's all a lie. Kind of it's kind of everything's made up, right? It's all made up Everything is made up to make well and then it all circles back around to money Basically, yeah, no money in power. Yes. Yep. Exactly. It does kind of scary this movie pulls that all together and then at the end you're just like oh Okay. What did you see? Oh my God. So I went to the, like I said, I was going to the Titanic thing. Yeah. Where is that? Cause Matt would say, is It's there until September now. I just started. It was the second day we went. Oh good. Okay. Um, for some reason, as I was highly stumbling through the cosai, we ended up in the light section because like we were wasting time before you go get into Titanic. And this, I don't know And I feel like I got, okay. It says, let me read it. The light that appears as you move represents thousands of tiny bioluminescent organisms. Does that not freak you the fuck out? What? What do you think that means? I think that means on a screen or something they're projecting what it's like to have water with bioluminescent organisms in it, and then as you move, you're lighting them up. I I mean, it was like jellyfish. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense. Okay. Duke that's cool. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I gotta go mount with you. I didn't even realize this you get to go on like Titanic Oh, that's so fun. It smells like fresh carpet and stuff like I do it weird. Yeah, it's creepy. Oh, that's so creepy. Yeah Anyway, well then I also thought about museums. I have a thought on a comment. I'd love to hear it They're a waste and here's why now. Let me just say this. Oh, no No, but when you look at it and you really like what it is Yeah, it's like poster board on a wall that has like something written that you have to read and it's way too long It's like King James was here at one point and blah blah and they're like and here's a spoon from his and it's one spoon and we're like, oh my god, and that's Well some yeah, I know okay, so I think like visual art to me is real because it's really there It's somebody who had to like create it in their mind and put it on paper Okay, you mean like information, but I'm talking about information kind of museums where it's like So-and-so did it and you're like okay, but also these are designed for kids really Titanic was not well Well, maybe. It's like for adults too, but like, let's be real. All the activities are kid activities and like you're riding a bike across a wire and like, it's just things that you're kind of like. But think about how crazy this is. OK. But I also have a solution to that. You just make them all publicly funded so they're free. So you don't notice that you've paid 12 cents a year in taxes to keep this place open so you can walk in and just go and then be like I Yeah that's like a person. Yeah that's insane. It's like. Look at poster board on a wall that's lit with a green light. So I'm like, ooh, this is fancy, right? It's you're in a literal like we're on the Franklin Peninsula Which is like there It's gonna flood Also, I'm having an existential crisis and I want to say this out loud because I am high So I feel like this might come off really great or might get caught. I don't know I was just thinking about something though, and I feel like we're just constantly living Like history So like think about what I just did. I was like, ooh the Titanic. Oh my god. We're living this history, but that's already happened Oh, yeah, remember the Egyptian temple in New York City, but I just think it's kind of bizarre that like I Temple of Dendur. Why are we so upset? I don't know. And then it's like, we're creating history as we're looking back at history. Does that make sense? So it's You feel that we should be. I just feel like. You feel like you're floating in the sky. I did, but I do feel like. You feel like we should be Or like the present, because we're so worried about what's going to happen. We're so But then we're also creating history as we're watching history. I don't know how to explain it. My thought is that we're kind of, I think we're honestly just doing the same shit over and over again. Right. And it might look different because, oh, now this building's not made of mud. It's made of metal and steel and glass. It's the same thing over and over. But it's like, ultimately, we have designed a building that we can go in and just be comfortable in. That's why they made, that's why they dwelled in caves. That's why they made little houses made of wood and mud. I mean, it's like we're doing the same shit, but How much money did that fucking museum make? I'm sitting there thinking like, this is so dumb. It's cool. It's just different. I don't know. Do you see any value in looking back and I do less than I Again, back to the Dune thing you were saying, or back to like, everything The only reason why- You're wondering why the story is about the Titanic. Why do we We're spending money towards it, and so is that the point, though? Why You mean propaganda. Whatever you will. propaganda. I happen to think that most of them, I think it's all propaganda. When you go to the Smithsonian and you see the Museum of American History, I think they're getting better at who they're selecting to write the little placards and all that and which things get exhibits and which things are prominent in the exhibits. But ultimately, yeah, I think there's a lot of money behind telling a certain story to make people believe a certain thing about how this country is In order to act certain ways and spend money in certain ways and believe in certain things. It was so tough for them back in the Civil War. Those poor Southerners. They were just defending their way of life. The stories we were told growing up about the Civil War, I always felt to sympathize with the South. So I was living in the South? And honestly, the North wasn't any better. They wanted to end slavery, but they didn't like black people. The people in the North were not like, yeah, black people are equal to us. They just thought they shouldn't be slaves. They didn't think black people were equal to white people. I'm saying not And also like, meanwhile, these are a bunch of Africans that didn't choose to even come here. Like Rip them from their families back in Africa. And it's like and split them up here and And that's not that far ago. But we were taught growing up. God bless America and always thank a veteran. And they're defending our freedom. It's like, what are they defending? What freedoms are we talking about? We have to get a bag search to get on the subway. What? How is this free here? Yeah, I can't. I have to worry about being shot all the time. How is that free? I'm free. I should love my country because we're free. We have freedom here. No, we don't you can't even say gay in, Florida Well, actually, well, it was clarified clarified. So however the law stays in place Anyways, but speaking of I'd like to go to Walt Mayer skin too, but we're gonna go to Montreal. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's a good idea Well, there's bath houses are probably better in Montreal plus dick and on stage real day. Wilton doesn't have dick on stage. Oh Like they have the Eagle, but like, we have three or four different full nudes strip clubs to choose from in Montreal that's just like insane. Like that type of gift is, and these are the, these are the moments. These are the moments. Sundries. My sundry is related to Dune II, but with the price that you are paying for a movie ticket, and I'm telling you it was $37 for two people to see a movie last night on IMAX. Why would that be extra? You have the theater, you have the whatever. So yeah, $37 for two people. That's before you get any$8 soft drink or $12 popcorn or $12 beer. But when I have to get up to go to the bathroom in the middle, Make the space bigger between rows like take out a row and then adjust every seat Like why are we building theaters where when you stand up your ass is gonna hit the person's face like I'm shuffling by Here's how bad it is I got up to get a second beer and go to the bathroom About an hour and a half in cuz that's what she does. She does I go to the bar first I don't have my wallet cuz it's in my coat, but I had an empty cup. I was like, okay Well, I don't have my ID they check IDs there. He's like, okay, I'll trust you then he starts pouring my beer and I was like And can I pay with my phone, because I don't have my wallet, like I said, so I don't have my card. He's like, oh, this one doesn't take the phone. I'm like, OK, can you ring me out over there where the popcorn's sold, not at the bar? And he's like, can't do that either. So he has a full beer sitting in front of me. I'm like, so you're just going to give it to me, right? I'm just like staring. I'm like, OK, well, I'm not coming back, because I don't want to make people move as I walk by them again. And I didn't go back. I went in the movie theater, sat down, and just watched the rest of the movie. And it was so good, I didn't care. Like, how dumb is it that that is a factor into me? You just lost money because of how close the seats are together. Just make more room. Let us breathe. Let us walk around. Like, if I get up, I want to walk straight ahead, Now, listen, this is a really good point. You're making a really great point. The way that you feel at the movie theater Amen. Well, let's make things accessible. Like I have long legs. Well, and people have disabilities to like, they can't turn sideways and walk that way. Not everyone. I mean, it's just like, and I'm not going to lie. The United, um, non good seats. I think they're smallest in the game. I was going to, I was going to ask like, Oh, it was, I was up in first and you were in like economy. And I'm like, yeah, Your knees were probably I was in so much pain. I was like, Michael, I'm I'm in so much pain. I had to like move my leg because it's like when I'm in the plane. Yeah, it doesn't matter because it's how long your thigh is, your femur. Right. No, I can't do anything with this. So it gets sore. I don't know what Yeah, because you can't bend it because I'm literally not bending it and I'm not being able to. Yes. Oh, that gives me anxiety. That's like when I was in that Uber in Park City trying to go back to the house and I was in a Tesla and my leg wouldn't move. So I was in the back, I was like, get me out, get me out now, because I was panicking. I was like, this is Bobby in an airplane. I was like, get me out. No, I can't move my foot. I could not move. I was that guy. This is a XL. So we were like it's not a fucking X. I was like the weirdest moment of our lives sundries my Actually. I just had a new one when you just said something something about work. Well, I think they should be to over with I think everything should be a series Yeah, cuz you now you're trying to make movies four hours long and it's in literally you're trying trying to character build, but you can't character build in that quick a time anymore because people are used to the series. So let's just, imagine Dune as a fucking TV series. How cool would that be? It would be so good. Literally, so. It would have been epic. They could have easily made at least six episodes out of this movie. Right, that's You know what I mean? So that's the one that popped in my head. My original Sundry, and the one that I came in very fucking hot, piping hot, In the workplace and it's when people decide to literally Set fire off like four emails and let me just explain the the first Okay, I can do this. Oh wait, and also now I need this And Oh my and I see it I'll pop in I'm doing something else too, right? Like I'm busy. I'm not just waiting for your fucking email, right? What happens? The phone rings. Who is it? The customer that just sent the four fucking emails. And I'm in my office going, oh, so I pick up the phone. Hello? No, I don't like that. Yeah. You're like, hi. No, I go, this is Bobby. You are. Oh my God, you're straight. That's weird. Weird feeling Oh, I forgot. That's like a weird thing. Oh my God. That's so weird. I have to I kind of get serious, but anyway, so then he calls and he goes, he goes, Hey Bobby, it's all good. It's, it's, it's so-and-so. Uh, It's like you sent four at once. Which one? What do you think is you literally sent me an email, four emails a minute ago. I haven't even opened them and you want me to tell you what I think. It's like, if you wanted to get results that quick, why didn't you call? That's what I Email me and then follow up with a call. Don't email I'm not going to repeat it again, but if you'd fucking do it, it's the worst. If you're that person, you are the worst. It's like email is for messages that are not emergencies. Like you can By tomorrow morning. Well, and a lot of people do, like I saw the emails come in. I email at the end of the day. I would email at the end of every day, like before I leave, like okay, I took care of that, I'm going home. And then I come home in the morning, or come back, empty, or maybe some new emails, Or the better one is this. This is another one. This one's for Colleen. It's a shout out to Colleen. She They'll call and say, Oh, I just need like one little thing. And you're like, okay, cool. What do you want? Well, it's, and we do measurements and stuff. We have to like, And then it's like, instead of just being like, I need a piece of pipe that's cut 10 feet long, it's, I need a four pieces cut three feet long. And all these outlets have to be welded on and stuff like that. So like, you should have sent that in an email. So now I have to ask you now that I've been on the phone with you for about 20 minutes, cause you're an idiot. I have to be like, can you email this? And then you don't know how to email that. Why can't they email? Oh, I'm telling you. Are they Well, they're more like it's like an old, like it's probably the People didn't go to college, don't know computers. It's the one that used to have the, do you remember Nextel? The walkie talkie First of all, who thought that was a good idea? I would have never used that. First of all, I'd be in trouble. I'd be like, you little pussy. We really would have said things. We'd be like, fuck you, bitch. Out of nowhere. How did that not happen? And then you're in class and you're just like, blink. And he says that. I had someone at school who had that. I had friends that had that. They had to leave it in the locker room off because people would just come. But they'd be like, if they can have their phone, why can't I have my next towel? I thought walkie talkies were that great. Do you know what you could do with the Apple Watch? And it's just so funny. Yeah. First of all, I don't want to be called ever. First of all, every time I have to call you, I'm like, Oh, poor Bobby. Like, Oh, if you call me, let me tell you why you call me. It gives me hate being called chills down the spine. It's like, what? What is it? What cousin killed himself now? Who's dead? Yeah. Who's hurt? What do you need? Am I in trouble? Like all these things were thrown out. I'm not. It's like when I see police, literally nothing It's crazy. It's crazy. So that's my sundry. Don't fucking don't Honestly, well, not my office. It needs to be in the world because everybody, especially Old gash in the Cleveland area. Y'all need some work, OK? It's the Clevelanders. You got to stop. All right. Can you blame It's like the rocks. Um, do we have any like information we need to be giving? Any voicemails? No. Okay. Um. Well next episode it'll be after St. Patrick's Day so hopefully we'll have some stories. Oh no, so happy St. Patrick's Day. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Let's just focus on Sunday. But the other nights we maybe can go to AWOL early or Well, I think me and, well. Wow. I think me and Michael are having a, um. I can't speak about it on the camera. We're gonna have a sexy night on Saturday. Oh, okay. And Friday I'm tired. Great. But why can't we just prepare for Sunday? Oh, it's Patrick's Day. The next day is work day. But No, everybody's gonna be drinking. There's a whole fucking bar crawl that starts like 9 a.m. What's a sexy night? You're so confused. Like we're just like it's like hmm. We're just gonna be sluts. Oh, you're having someone over. No, who knows? We're just being sluts together. Oh, okay to explain I don't even know I don't think yeah, like we might go to a while we might go. Well, then I'll probably see you there I'll find his giggle with you the whole night and then sexy times over and No fighting boys I haven't been to AWOL in two months. You're not honey. You're not missing anything. And also I told the bar I literally haven't. It's weird. Like, I haven't been since before New Orleans. Oh, girl, that's January 17th. Like, I have not been because I've been working or gone. Well, The next month and a half, I'm like, oh boy. Like it's no time. It's every Yeah, you have like a lot, sometimes you have weeks where you'll be like, Tuesdays and It's like, ooh. And on the off weeks, it's, see, yeah. Yeah, it's weird. But then you're going to, oh, we're